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Joke of the Day

"a powerful ancient bully emerged from a lake and told some girls i didnt know how to jack off til i was 16 & used a really unorthodox style"

"I just took a massive dump. Didn't know I had it in me."

"HR said I'm not allowed to try to hang co-workers with an extension cord. Dunno what I'm supposed to use though, they wouldn't tell me."

"What do you call a 6 year old with no friends? A Sandy Hook survivor"

"Behemoth? No. Hebebutterfly."

"Two Jewish businessmen meet in the street. ""Oy Abraham I'm sorry to hear about that fire at your warehouse"". ""Ssh!"" hisses the other ""It's not till next week""."

"If she's on top... You're fucking up."

"The pipes that my plumber installed are leaking... Clearly, he didn't give a flux."

"There are plenty of fish in the sea... ...but until I catch one, I'm just stuck here holding my rod."

"I thought Match .com was a place to arrange fights to the death, but turns out it's a website to find love. So I was close."