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Joke of the Day

"Why was the criminal's argumentative essay so good? He had some outstanding warrants."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it's a sentient being with its own thoughts and desires"

"Sorry to all the people my 3yo has yelled at for eating ice cream in a car. Telling him it was illegal was wrong. I know this now."

"I came upon a woman in the park So she wiped it off and called the police."

"What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants? One's a crusty bus station and one's a busty crustacean"

"what kinda bees make milk. boobies...."

"Vagina jokes aren't funny. Period."

"My Welsh Friend I asked my welsh mate how many sexual partners he had had, but I never got to find out. Everytime he tried counting them he fell asleep."

"Naked and Afraid, but it's just me staring down a spider in the shower."

"Out of all my body parts, my eyes are in the best shape... I roll them at least 489 times a day."