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Joke of the Day

"Beware of TV. It has the power to turn things like storage, parking and cupcakes into wars."

"i want the first line of my obituary to be about how i once used an umbrella three different times before losing it"

"If we really want our kids to be smarter, we should require pornstars to moan historical facts during sex"

"What is a pirates favorite firework? M80"

"Cat owner : wow my pet cat really likes you Me: yeah well that's just because I have at least 2 sardines in my left pocket at any given time"

"Why do Jews hate water? Because the last one that stepped into a shower got bad gas."

"if ignorance is bliss then racists must feel like they're always on heroin."

"How was copper wire invented? Two Jews found the same penny!"

"How do you see fish semen? You Blow-Fish!"

"When's a door not a door? When it's ajar"