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Joke of the Day

"Everyone was texting her good morning sunshine, so I texted her ""good morning solar eclipse"" Yeah, don't do that."

"If your girl tells you ""Deeper!"" and that's all you got, just start reading poetry."

"Where can you find alcoholic sheep? At the BAAAAH"

"Science builds airplanes & skyscrapers... ...and faith brings them together."

"We're decorating the tree with the kids today. But now that they're teens it's harder to find branches that will support their weight."

"One fun thing about kids crying is trying to determine if they broke a crayon or got their arm stuck in a piece of farming equipment."

"(nsfw) What do pimples and catholic priests have in common? They both start coming on boys' faces around age 13."

"Conspiracy theory: If they really want to catch Big Foot, why don't they look at the factory where Christmas stockings are made?"

"You people from the internet freak me the fuck out."

"How many Im not saying she's a slut But jokes are there? Im not saying she a slut but: She's been boarded more times than Amtrak"