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Joke of the Day

"We're decorating the tree with the kids today. But now that they're teens it's harder to find branches that will support their weight."

"What's the difference between a corn husker with tourettes, and a prostitute with diarrhea? One fits before they shuck, the other shits before they fuck."

"Where would you park your camel? The Camelot. PS Booze helped with this and now I'm laughing alone in my apartment Edit: Went to class, came back, saw this. Me and my cat are thoroughly pleased."

"Paul says to Jesus ""Hey man whatcha doing for Passover?"" Jesus says ""Just hanging around."""

"Why do men chase women they have no intention of marrying? For the same reason dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving..."

"You know what they say about big feet... Big socks."

"Where does a Turkey live? A coup."

"""Hey baby ditch the zero *stares silently until lenses transition into sunglasses* and get with the hero."""

"What does pubic hair and parsley have in common? You just push them both aside and keep on eating."

"I drank tequila in a cave... ...it was a shot in the dark"