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Joke of the Day
"What kind of luggage does a vulture bring on a plane? Carrion."
Next Joke
"If you're wondering at what age you'll stop messing up your life know that it's not 40 and apparently not 50 either."
"How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas? Deep pan, crisp and even."
"Girl Monster 1: ""I hear you've met the perfect guy."" Girl Monster 2: ""Oh yes he's a bad dream come true!"""
"What's a mass in your body that is really helpful? A cyst!"
"Wheres my dog gone? Dead in the trash"
"Me: I love you! Girlfriend: Is that you, or the vodka talking? Me: It's me...talking to the vodka."
"The lords army. Chad: My brother, why don't you join the lords army? Bob: I'm already their. Chad: I don't see you on Sundays... Bob: I'm in the secret service."
"I was recently asked how I view lesbian relationships. Apparently ""in HD"" was the wrong answer"
"""What happens to germaphobes?"" They wash their hands so often, they dry out and people assume they have AIDS."