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Joke of the Day

"What's an Apple Scottish self-aware computer called? I, Mac."

"What Did The Time Traveler Do After He After He Ate Too Much? He Went Back Four Seconds."

"How many spoiled rich girls does it take... ...to change a light bulb? Just one, she yells, ""DAAAAADDY, I need a new house!"""

"people say they're ""over the moon"" when they're happy, but it's a lie; the moon is one of those things you will never truly get over"

"My doctor gave me six months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill. He gave me another six months."

"I just came home with 25 pairs of carpenter jeans. . . My wife thinks I'm building a new wardrobe. BTW original, thought I'd share."

"No male deserves to win the lottery.. They already won it when they were born."

"Whats the difference between a black person and a pizza. A pizza can feed a family of 4"

"Why did the railroad thief get caught? He forgot to cover his tracks! im^dead^inside"

"I scream. You scream. We all scream. ISIS laughs."