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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cheap circumcision A rip off."

"In which sub does OP deliver most often? /r/babybumps/"

"If I go into a stall and see a solitary, intact lima bean in the bowl, I pick a new stall. I don't want what you're selling, lima bean bowl!"

"Procrastination is like masturbation It awesome until you realize that you've fucked yourself."

"What do you say when only the egg remains? It's all ovum now"

"I try to look on the bright side of everything, except for the sun, because it burns my retinas"

"Now that they found water on #Mars, how long before they bottle it & sell it at Whole Foods for $19?"

"Forgot my wallet at home & filled up at the gas station so I have to leave some collateral. Not leaving my phone there so 4 year old it is."

"Do people who go to the gym to ""feel the burn"" know nothing of Mexican food?"

"How do you make a cookie dance? Throw a little dough at it!"