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Joke of the Day

"When talking to a girl, their boobs are like the sun... You can't look at them for very long unless you have sunglasses"

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"Trees Why couldn't the tree answer the trivia question? It was stumped."
"And the he told me he was kilt shopping. So, apparently I'm married to Braveheart."
"I told my dad that I wanted to be a comedian He said to me, ""You can't be serious."""
"""Wanna go camping?"" ""No thanks, I have a house."""
"Why did the dog sit in the front seat of the car? Because the car had a sun ""woof""! Yes, I made this up myself. Yes, I have no friends."
"Why did the chickens cross the road? Because they were Turkish."
"[trailer] Narrator: THIS SUMMER, KEVIN HART Me: oh no Narrator: GUESS WHAT HE'S DOING Me: another cop m- Narrator: ANOTHER COP MOVIE"
"I just ordered a Life Alert bracelet... so if I ever get a life I'll be notified immediately."
"My neighbor has 2 dogs... Their names are Rolex and Timex They're watch dogs."