45716

Joke of the Day

"If eating fish is so good for your brain, how come sharks always score so poorly on the SAT?"

"Why did the incarcerated 12 year old furiously jerk off in jail? He was hoping for an early release"

"Did you all hear about the chicken that swallowed the yo-yo? Laid the same egg 44 times!"

"What gun would Jesus outlaw first? A nail gun"

"What do you call a group of pigs? A precinct."

"Outbreak - New Strain of Bird Flu Discovered!!! It's called Chirpies. It's a Canarial Disease. It's Untweetable."

"What is a chemist's favorite brand of shoes? Vans of der Waals"

"Who is the fastest runner in history. Adam - because he was the first in the human race."

"My new years resolution is to have more sex! I Haven't told my cellmate yet though"

"just mowed the backyard [idiot mocking voice] ""but deg what will u do this weekend?"" hell, the way it grows i'll be able to mow sunday idiot"