90168

Joke of the Day

"I like my men like I like my packets of instant oatmeal: Chunky and knowledgeable with facts about dinosaurs."""

"""Balls!"" cried the queen. ""If I had two I'd be king!"" The king laughed. He had to."

"On the Titanic 0 people died from alcohol poisoning and 1,500 people died from drinking too much water. You decide which is more dangerous."

"A man goes to a zoo but the only animal there is a dog. It's a Shitzu."

"What do you call a lesbian driving a Ford Windstar full of penises? A dick-van dyke. -Credit to Louis CK"

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

"I'm a feminist So is my wife, but because I'm a man, I'm better at it."

"I have created a new Word! plagiarism"

"A man goes to the zoo. There's only one animal, a dog. It's a pretty Shitzu"

"One day at a Stripper Club Stripper: ""The more you tip, the more I'll reveal!"" (*tips more money*) Stripper: ""Bush did 9/11!"""