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Joke of the Day

"Sharp and short! **Husband** : I love you! **Wife** : Not today!"

"Which race eats the most watermelon? The human race, you racist asshole!"

"My Life get it, cause my life is a joke! *badum tisss*"

"How do you tell a male chromosome from a female chromosome? You pull down its genes!"

"When you're in the voting booth this fall, remember that Abe Lincoln didn't slay all those vampires so that Trump could become President."

"[NSFW] What do a pizza delivery person and a gynecologist have in common? They both get to smell it, but can't eat it."

"Sorry I said, ""Whoa, hope he's good at math."" when you showed me your kid's finger painting."

"There aren't many books on how to cook steak It's a rare medium done well."

"Female dogs... Today a female dog tried to talk and play with my dog. He couldn't muster the courage to talk to her.. He didn't have the balls to do it."

"Sales clerk: That handbag is very pleasing to the eye. Customer: Really? I don't like it. Giant Disembodied Eye: YOU REALLY SHOULD BUY IT"