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Joke of the Day

"What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard? A new last name."

"BANISTER A man comes home from work to find his wife sliding down the banister. ""What are you doing?"" he asks. She answers, ""Warming up your dinner."""

"Spider-Man is my favorite superhero whose name is made up of 2 things that scare the shit out of me."

"What's the difference between a bluebird and a elephant? They both have wings, except for the elephant."

"I'm not sure which is worse: People who force their religion on you... Or Anyone who's ever said ""Oh it's because I'm a Virgo."""

"This Mother's Day, my dad got a new car for my mom. He said it was the best trade he's ever made"

"My friend likes puns so I came up with ten of them to try and make him laugh... ...but no pun in ten did."

"By the volume of the pans clanging and slamming in the kitchen... I think I'm supposed to be volunteering to help with something"

"If I had to rate racist jokes... I would rate black jokes a 3/5 and arab jokes a 9/11"

"Did you know Avatar is a sequel to Titanic? It picks up where Titanic left off, in the sense that half the cast is blue and dying. Obligatory edit: Frontpage on /r/jokes! Wohooo!"