77295

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer? Mick Jagger says ""Hey (hey) you (you) get off of my cloud..."" the Scottish farmer says ""Hey McCloud get off of my ewe"""

"HAPPY NEW YEAR letter to mods AAEEHNPPRWYY"

"What do Augusto Pinochet and New Guns n Roses have in common? They've both committed atrocities in South American stadiums."

"And the award for Best Actress goes to...*opens envelope*....my 4 year old daughter for her overly-dramatic scene in ""Bath Time""."

"The Longest Joke in the World http://longestjokeintheworld.com/"

"My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate."

"A lizard that can't walk: From what is it suffering? Reptile Dysfunction"

"I have to poop like the Joker... really, really bad."

"I was in a nightclub grinding on a girl. When someone said, ""What the fuck are you doing with that skateboard?"""

"Lunatic escapes from an asylum, goes to a launderette where he rapes three women before running off into the woods. Next morning's newspaper headlines read.... # **NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS**"