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Joke of the Day

"Why is it okay when a woman has sex with someone half her age, but when a man does it, it's awesome?"

"After watching Star Wars 20 told me he probably wouldn't go and see it again. And now I'm thinking he looks a lot like my old mailman."

"Whats green and smells like bacon? Kermit's dick."

"I told an ebola joke And only 50% died laughing."

"There should be a ""shame"" setting on showerheads."

"Conjunctivitis.com Now there's a site for sore eyes."

"Why was the monster sitting in his Easter basket? He was trying to hatch his peanut butter eggs!"

"Believe everything your tv tells you (sponges can talk, turtles eat pizza, love is real)"

"Just had to cut ties with the girl I was dating after I found out we both wanted different things. She wanted a relationship and I wanted a better looking girlfriend."

"What is the gardener's favourite fruit? Plantain."