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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend told me that it was either her or my Meatloaf discography. I told her I would do anything for love, but I can't do that."

Next Joke
 
"Where does Optimus Prime go for cosmetic repairs? To the autobotty shop!"
"Dad- I want you to have everything in this world that your heart desires. *Can I have oreos?* [NO]"
"What did the ireshmen say to the beer ? I love you....."
"Dried grapes are getting really expensive... I heard they're raisin the price"
"What is a surgeon's excuse for not wearing a condom? Don't worry baby, I'm sterile."
"I went to Thailand... Saw a hot girl in the bar. I kept telling myself ""don't get a erection, don't get a erection"". After 5 mins, it happened.. She got a erection"
"Monday: forearms Wednesday: forearms Friday: forearms Sunday: forearms --Popeye's gym schedule"
"I remember the first time I used a Universal Remote Control I thought to myself: ""Well, this changes everything."""
"I told my dog 6,000 times, she could go out but I wasn't going to sit outside with her... Long story short, I'm sitting outside with her."