57838

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You cry when you cut an onion."

"I'm celebrating international women's day by not having my wife make me a sandwich today. I'm going to Subway and having Rachel make it instead."

"Have you heard of the new constipation movie? it hasn't come out yet."

"""Suspect is an elder female with an extensive criminal background..."" ""We don't have any leads, but we'll search every crook and nanny until we find her."""

"Long visits to nature linked to improved mental health, study finds. According to new research by Australian and UK environmental scientists. Who obviously didn't poll women on Tinder."

"If you like something, don't forget to really oversell it so it can disappoint everyone else."

"One day 2 blondes decided to drive to Disney Land. When they saw a sign that said 'Disney Land left' they turned around and went home."

"The Socratic method of deductive reasoning walks into a bar and the bartender says ""So. What don't you want?"""

"Sex in a cornfield Is sex in a cornfield called porn on a cob?"

"BARISTA: I have an order for...God? Is there a God? [no one answers] ATHEIST: Haha told ya GOD: *exiting bathroom* Sorry I'm here ATH: Shit"