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Joke of the Day
"Surprise your wife today. Sell all her shoes and buy something nice for yourself."
Next Joke
"I moved to Australia, I've never been so appreciated! I've had so many offers to ""Get F**ked!""... I have the pick of the litter!!"
"What do you call a Cadillac with a staircase on the back? An escalador."
"""we're broke? how is that possible?"" (extremely high pitched voice) no idea ""did you-"" *opens closet & hundreds of helium tanks fall out*"
"Bernie Sanders and his supporters. The very people who accused Trump of spreading fascism, bigotry, and racism used those very things to close down the rally in Chicago."
"*buys dog organic, free-range, non-nitrate chicken treats for $7.99, buys self Big Mac"
"My Grandma would be pissed if she found out how many times she's died so I could get out of having to go somewhere."
"do I wanna smoke? sure I'll smoke. I'll smoke u fools on the court when ur lung capacity is severely compromised. stay in school, be active"
"Chuck Norris just says ""no"" to drugs. If he said ""yes"", it would collapse Colombia's infrastructure."
"Just saw Snow White working at Lady Foot Locker, she was looking hot, seriously, she was the fairest of the mall."