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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a lonely terrorist? ISIL-ated"

"I refuse to text and drive... I always end up spilling my beer."

"What does seven days without exercise make? One weak!"

"I caught my friend watching gay Cuban porn last night... It was called Juan on Juan."

"This girl text me: ""your adorable I text back: no YOU'RE adorable Now she likes me and I was just pointing out her typo..."

"What's a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet? Ahh yes I can see how you would think it's the ""r"", but in fact it's tha ""C""!"

"[Doctor's Office] Seal: My flippers are sore. Killer Whale Doctor: Hmm interesting, swim a little closer into my jaws- I MEAN ONTO THE TABLE"

"Where does a person with one leg work? IHOP"

"A new restaurant named Karma just opened in my neighborhood. There's no menu, you just get what you deserve."

"A man fell into a river. Why did he refuse help? He was in The Nile"