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Joke of the Day

"This girl text me: ""your adorable I text back: no YOU'RE adorable Now she likes me and I was just pointing out her typo..."

"A Scotsman is out walking with his girlfriend. They walk by a hot dog stand, and the girl exclaims, ""Mmm, that smells so good!"" ""Oh,"" the Scotsman answers, ""do you want to go walk past it again?"""

"My doctor said that high levels of hormones were causing me to prematurely ejaculate. On my way home I bought a gag for my wife."

"I wish there was a reality show where people learned grammar."

"What do you get if you cross a cat with a parrot ? A carrot !"

"How do you know someone is a vegan? Oh don't worry, they'll fucking tell you"

"""If I write something completely creepy under a girl's Facebook photo, maybe it WON'T be creepy if I end it with 'lol.'"" -guy logic"

"Nothing against fat chicks having high self-esteem Just not yoga pants high"

"I learned today that I'm still a reddit noob."

"What did the calculus student who failed his test and the guy who got a speed ticket have in common? They didn't know their limits"