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Joke of the Day

"A new restaurant named Karma just opened in my neighborhood. There's no menu, you just get what you deserve."

"[gazes up at moons] [that's right in this tweet there's several moons] [girl kisses me] [that's right in this tweet I am not human garbage]"

"My Dad always worked really hard to be able to put dinner on the table for his family. And still my Mam moaned because he couldn't afford to buy plates. That table was ruined."

"What can you do with a dog that has no legs? Take him on a drag! What do you call said dog? Doesn't matter... he's not coming anyway."

"A dyslexic man... Walks into a bra."

"A blind man walks into a bar and a chair, then a table..."

"Q: How did a blind man meet his wife? A: On a blind date!"

"Bruce Willis overdosed on Viagra before comitting suicide He died hard"

"My grandfather's holocaust stories aren't half as depressing as the contestant interview segment on Jeopardy."

"An app that makes your phone ring whenever someone asks ""so what's next for you"""