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Joke of the Day

"Do you know about the unpredictable weather in Syria? Sometimes it's Sunni, other times it's Shiite."

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"A blind man walks into a bar. Then a chair. Then a table."
"When ever a girl wears a shirt saying 'I Woke Up Like This' I resist the urge to say I'm sorry about that."
"What did nazi pilots eat for breakfast? Luftwaffles"
"Classic nursery rhyme Jack and Jill went up a hill, each had a quarter. Jill came down with fifty cents, you think they went for water?"
"Two fat Scottish sounding women in my bar tonight... ""Hey, are you two from Scotland?"" I asked. ""It's WALES you fucking idiot,"" one yelled. I apologized, ""Sorry, are you two whales from Scotland?"""
"I'm thinking about having an open casket funeral... Remains to be seen. :D"
"So I ordered a sex toy online. It was so good, even the mail came."
"Life is like a penis... Short, hard, and fat. It's the women that make it soft and easy."
"What do you call a magic owl? HOOdini"
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