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Joke of the Day

"""sir we don't hire people to be mannequins"" Me:*strikes mannequin pose* ""No, sir we don-"" M:*new pose* [under breath] ""damn this guys good"""

"What's the object of Jewish football? Get the quarter back."

"What do you give Sean Connery when hes eating nachos in a bathtub? Shower Cream"

"SCIENCE JOKE A NEUTRON WALKS INTO A BAR AND ASKS THE BARTENDER AND SAID, ""HOW MUCH DOES A DRINK COST?"" The bartender replies "" For you no charge."""

"Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only six months? Because on the box it said From 2 to 4 years."

"What do you call it when a valley girl gives blow jobs for Louis Vuitton's? Head over heels"

"[Office] *Dolphin accidentally dials fax number Fax:EEphkEekakischchEEek Dolphin:Well, I don't normally do this. But yes I'm free tonight"

"What do The Walking Dead and the Fast and Furious series have in common? They both have dead walkers."

"When my kids come to me with problems I just tell them to watch Full House until they find an episode dealing with their issue."

"If a man says something in the forest, and no woman is there to hear it... ...is he still wrong?"