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Joke of the Day

"I have the solution to the drought in California Just let all the ladies hear my mixtape"

"what do you call a dog magician? A labracadabrador."

"I'm cooking some SpaghettiOs in nothing but my underwear. All of a sudden, Chef Ramsay bursts into my kitchen and beats the shit out of me."

"Why do white girls always stay in groups of odd numbers? Because they can't even..."

"An Irish, blind, gay, paraplegic blonde woman is wheeled into a bar.. ""Ow!"""

"Highways are a lot like toilets... It only takes a couple big shits to back everything up."

"If I looked down and saw Steve Buscemi between my legs, I'm pretty sure I'd think I was having a miscarriage."

"I like my whiskey like I like my women 18 years old and all mixed up with coke"

"If I was an alcoholic, I'd stash all my booze in the laundry basket because apparently I'm the only person in my house who knows it exists."

"How many SJW's does it take to change a 90w lightbulb? Did you just assume my wattage??? FLICKERED"