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Joke of the Day

"Why will you never see a stag on the internet? They like to stay anony-moose"

"My girlfriend and I used to argue in bed... I liked to sleep all stretched out like a starfish, and she liked to sleep with a Russian body-builder called Ivan."

"An American and a German were playing ""Thumb War"" ""One, two, three, four, I declare a thumb war."" ""Five, six, seven, eight, I use this hand to masturbate."" ""Einz, zwei, drei, so do I."""

"My girlfriend told me she loves my brain I told her ""Hey, my eyes are down here""."

"what is the difference between aspirin and a strippers boyfriend? asprin works."

"Monica Blue Knock knock. Whos there? Monica Blue. Monica Blue who? Bill Clinton."

"Did you hear about the cannibal who came home late for dinner? He got the cold shoulder"

"What's the difference between Spartacus and Hannibal Lector One of them's a gladiator, and the other is glad he ate her!"

"What happens to the taxidermist after he eats? He gets stuffed."

"Did you know if you drink the fluid from a magic 8 ball you can see the future. Trust me. My friend Keith did it once and he said he was going to die and then he did."