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Joke of the Day
"How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!"
Next Joke
"Dear Tequila: We had a deal. You were supposed to make me sexier, smarter and a better dancer. But I saw the video. And I think we need to talk..."
"""...until death do us part."" *looks at minister* ""What about a Walking Dead situation where she's a zombie? Then I can bang other chicks?"""
"Bum at the bus stop, lady walks up with dress up her crack, bum discretely pulls it out, lady slaps him, [hand gesture pushing it back into crack]"
"What makes a Mexican saddest about the rise of ebooks? The closing of the Borders."
"whats the best thing about an ethiopian blowjob? they always swallow"
"I thought it was FRAT Tuesday! Now what am I supposed to do with all these popped collars?"
"You just HAD to let snakes and spiders on the Ark, didn't you Noah? Way to go, man. Way. To. Go."
"What do you call a traitor with a lisp? Judith"
"My two year old just learned to say shut up. Coincidentally I just lost all guilt about clothes lining a toddler."