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Joke of the Day
"Once I told a noble gas joke... There wasn't a reaction"
Next Joke
"One iPhone in an Apple Two iPhones is a pear."
"[Showing a friend around the house] Me: And THIS is where my 5 yr old eats his popcorn. *motions to area covered in popcorn."
"The best thing after an intensive argument is the reconciliation sex... ...but boy, do I hate to argue with my in-laws."
"For the last time, I don't have any secret prison camps. Anyone who doesn't believe me will be sent to a secret prison camp."
"What do they do to dead scientists? They barium."
"ME: Why can't everyone just be nice EVERYONE: Why can't you ME: Don't change the subject"
"If your laugh in real life sounds like ""Bahahaha"", guaranteed I won't be funny around you."
"How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Whatever."
"Ultimately, even the mighty invincible Achilles was killed with a bowshot to his foot. Time wounds all heels"