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Joke of the Day

"Just spent 5 minutes waving my hands in front of a manual paper towel dispenser if anyone needs someone to take their SAT exam for them."

"We had our pot-bellied pig de-oinked He was a little disgruntled."

"What car do rich black people drive? A Countach"

"Why did Harry Potter's friends pick him up and pass him around on his birthday? They were playing pass the Parseltongue."

"My friends think im a magician when I make chocolate disappear... But little do they know, i'v got a few Twix up my sleeve..."

"An app that detects itself running on other people's phones, then both devices play Random Encounter music. What happens next is up to you."

"What's it called when two morticians argue for hours on who gets to bang a corpse? A stalemate."

"Love' is picking up tampons at the supermarket for your girlfriend. True love' is inserting them."

"A Blonde Walks Into A Bar... she says ""OUCH""."

"Its pretty annoying how women complain about having 1 baby in their stomach I have like a million in my ballsack and im not complaining."