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Joke of the Day

"My friends think im a magician when I make chocolate disappear... But little do they know, i'v got a few Twix up my sleeve..."

"What did one plumber say to the other plumber? Pipe down."

"Do you know if Stephen Hawking still has his old phone number? Everytime I call, a machine answers."

"What is a rednecks favorite pie during the holidays? Pump-Kin"

"I walked past a drug rehab facility today. There was a sign on the front lawn that read ""KEEP OFF THE GRASS!"""

"Seen on a prison wall: ""VIRGINITY who says you can only lose it once?"""

"You guys hear about that mathematics student who was flunking? He only understood his field to a degree and decided to look at it from a new angle."

"I met my exgirlfriend while I was attending college... ... I went to the local community college, but she went to the Christian University of North Texas which explains a lot."

"The other day I went to the doctor and he told me I may be schizophrenic And I said, ""Hey Doc, you must be talking to the wrong guy!"""

"Willie Nelson? (NSFW) What is the worst thing Willie Nelson could say to you while you are giving him a blowjob? I'm not really Willie Nelson"