57564

Joke of the Day

"Post that you're pregnant on facebook: 88 likes and 31 comments. Tweet that you're pregnant on twitter: 2 stars and 491 unfollows"

"So Rick Perry drops his presidential bid Today.. I thought his campaign wasn't for late term abortions."

"My mind is like a steel trap. Rusty and illegal in 37 states."

"so a Gorilla a Mother and a Child walk into a bar The Gorilla took a shot, the mum got arrested for child endangerment"

"[Shopping with teen son] *sees hot girl* *waits until she gets close* *grabs box of adult diapers* ""How are you doing on Depends bud?"""

"[interview for fireman] ""So why do you think you're a good fireman?"" I lit the building on fire ""What?"" Now watch as I try to put it out"

"I texted her ""Thankin bout ur butt"" I don't know how much more romantic you can be"

"I took a picture of the fog with my new iPhone 7.... iMist"

"Two fish are STILL in a tank one turns to the other and says ""NOPE!"""

"What do you call something that has nothing to do with elephants? Irrelephant"