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Joke of the Day

"[giant fork knocks at my door] ""Excuse me sir do you have any spoons?"" [a family of spoons are cowering in my kitchen drawer] ""um...no sir?"""

"Saw a Justin Bieber CD taped to a wall. You better believe I took it, you never know when you will need a piece of tape."

"What's the bet part about having sex with twenty two year olds? There's twenty of them!"

"Why are black people so bad at walking up stairs? Cause niggas be trippin"

"I put the SEXY in Dyslexic. Deal with ti"

"I was told water cooling a computer would make it faster So I threw my laptop into a pool, and now I never have to see a loading screen again!"

"As a german I have to ask: You know what really grinds my gears? Nothing. Our engineering is perfect."

"Sure, white people can't say the ""N word"" but. atleast we can say phrases like, ""Thanks for the warning, Officer"" and, ""Hey, Dad."""

"You might as well call me New Year's Resolution... Because no one's going to do me"

"""why didnt you come to the Halloween party?"" I was a black kids father for Halloween this year."