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Joke of the Day
"You might as well call me New Year's Resolution... Because no one's going to do me"
Next Joke
"What were the last words of the explorer who discovered the Boa Constrictor? ""Can't...breathe..."""
"I just read that a veteran policeman has been suspended from his job... after being caught masturbating and smoking weed in his office. No name was given but he was a high wanking officer."
"[Interview] Boss: What's your greatest strength? Me: I'm a risk taker B: Can you give an example? M: *Passionately kisses boss* B: omg"
"Why can't you hear a pterodactyl in the restroom? Because their P is silent."
"A kid at the park said a giant hemorrhoid is heading toward Earth. I know he misspoke but in the closing days of 2016 one can't be too sure."
"A termite walks into a club. 'Is the bar tender here?'"
"Where do most black people work? In jail"
"What do you call a pun in a marathon? A running joke"
"How do you know you have a high sperm count? When the girl has to chew before she swallows."