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Joke of the Day
"""There is no spoon"" -Post-Coital Keanu Reeves"
Next Joke
"*Vladimir Putin dining* I want Russian fries ""They're French fries"" Not for long *crosses Ukraine out on agenda & lists France* Not for long"
"I just made way too much pasta, so if you haven't eaten dinner yet, swing by and watch me eat way too much pasta."
"What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape"
"BARBER: would you like a hot towel? ME: buddy, I don't objectify towels"
"INTERVIEWER: Any questions for me? ME: How do I access the WIFI? INTERVIEWER: I meant about the job ME: Is that all capital?"
"My transgender uncle is a superhero... We call him Aunt-Man."
"I was let down in life by two people My mum, my dad and my maths teacher"
"Just when I thought we'd avoided all controversial topics at Thanksgiving dinner my niece said Aristocats was better than The Lion King"
"How does Steve Bannon, Trump's Senior Chief Strategist feel after he gets over a cold? Alt-Right"