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Joke of the Day

"I just made way too much pasta, so if you haven't eaten dinner yet, swing by and watch me eat way too much pasta."

"That awkward moment when Chris Brown sees a hot chick and says ""I'd hit that."""

"Date: Do u have any allergies? Me: I'm allergic to raisins. They make me cry D: That's an unusual reaction M: They could've been wine!!"

"What has four legs and says ""hoe de doe, hoe de doe""? Two black guys trying to catch an elevator."

"People say his actions move people to tears. well I wasn't aware he was rapist."

"When I went to bed last night I had 47,000 followers. Now I have 700. Did I spell something wrong?"

"What musician has the hardest instrument to play? A Tromboner."

"YOLO You Only Love Owls."

"I'm surprised ""slow internet connection"" doesn't come up more often as a motive in murder trials."

"Throwing acid is wrong In some people's eyes..."