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Joke of the Day
"BARBER: would you like a hot towel? ME: buddy, I don't objectify towels"
Next Joke
"????My lactose-free, gluten-free, wheat-free, carb-free, nut-free, fat-free milkshake, brings all the weirdos to the yard...????"
"A husband says to his wife, ""What would you do if I won Lotto?"" She says, ""I'd take half, then leave you."" ""Excellent,"" he replies, ""I won $12, here's $6 - now fuck off!"""
"There's been something wrong with my smelling lately... I've asked everyone, but no one ""nose"" the cause!"
"Oh you graduated from DeVry too?! Which month were you?"
"Why is Captain Hook good at getting away with murder? He leaves no fingerprints"
"Shoutout to the wife for stacking her shampoo bottles in the shower like she's on her last 3 turns on Jenga."
"I like my woman like I like my vodka.... Gone in the morning."
"What happens when you are banned on a muslim server? you are turbanned"
"What do you call it when a statistician secretly gives out clothes? Discreet uniform distribution"