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Joke of the Day
"How come Miss Piggy couldn't talk? She had a frog in her throat."
Next Joke
"Why did the feminist cross the road? To shout and scream at a gentleman who held the door for a lady."
"Which is better exercise, chasing a car or running away from one? Chasing a car. After running from a car you'll just be tired, but after chasing one you'll be exhausted."
"""Fiona, You up?"" -Shrext."
"I don't tell god how big my problems are, I tell my problems how big my god is."
"I just killed 84 birds with 1 stone at Petsmart, totally destroying the previous record of 2."
"I'm sorry I poked your baby with your selfie stick but I didn't really know what to do with either of them."
"How many Ron Pauls does it take to change a lightbulb?"
"If we all just agree that we're fine, we'll never again have to ask each other how we are."
"Did you hear why the Quartz is divorcing her husband? She says he took her for Granite"