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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you trust any Adam? They make up everything."

"*I come downstairs to see my dog has eaten my dinner off the counter* Dude, I said I was sorry for eating yours."

"if a plumber's career can go down the drain... And a fireman's job can go up in smoke, can a hooker get laid off?"

"Cows How does a farmer count cows? On a cowculater :D:D (ya its crap)"

"I organized a threesome this past weekend. There were a couple of no-shows, but I still had a good time."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? No one pays to have a garbanzo bean on their face."

"If you accidentally get stuck holding the door for a bunch of people. 1. Relax 2. Accept your fate 3. You are part of the building now"

"Did you hear the one about the perfume store? I heard their manufacturing was in an ol' factory."

"""If something goes wrong, we'll just go to a blue DOS screen and dump out an indecipherable log of what happened"". This was a choice made."

"I lost 15 pounds by moving my bathroom scales from a hard surface to carpet! Great success!"