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Joke of the Day
"I lost 15 pounds by moving my bathroom scales from a hard surface to carpet! Great success!"
Next Joke
"How do you make an elephant sandwich? First of all you get a very large loaf..."
"Me: Saw your bf today ""Where?"" M: What's the name of that gym next door to the gay bar? ""Golds?"" M: Yeah, in the gay bar next to Golds"
"If there was any award for laziness, I probably would send someone to pick it up for me."
"I don't know the full history of US and Canada but somehow we've got joint custody of geese"
"My son asked me to stop singing oasis songs in public... I said maybe."
"I've just been to a concert starring the Bermuda philharmonic orchestra. Half way through, the guy on the triangle disappeared."
"What do you call a Jewish Pokemon Trainer? Ash credits to /u/nothingbutcold"
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Anderson ! Anderson who ? Anderson and daughter came too !"
"What do you call it when Al Capone goes camping? Criminal intent."