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Joke of the Day

"Italian Knock knock Knock a knock - who's there - Ayatollah - Ayatollah who? - Ayatollah you already."

"There's a fox in our garden! I mean a real fox, not a sexy person! Although, I am also now in the garden. There are two foxes in our garden!"

"Why'd the blonde snort a line of Splenda? She thought it was diet coke"

"What did the duck say to the prostitute? Put it on my bill"

"I wasn't kicking you. I was encouraging you to get the hell out of my way."

"[slashing food truck tires] friend: wtf are you doing?! [running away with arms filled with tacos] YOU COMIN OR NOT?!"

"What do you call a dead body and two planks? A ""Build your own Jesus"" kit."

"My sex life is like a Ferrari.. I don't have a Ferrari"

"Did you hear about the band the hipster liked? No, no you didn't."

"The difference between snowmen and snowwomen. Snowballs."