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Joke of the Day

"Why do they even bother calling him 007, when the first thing he does is introduce himself using his REAL NAME?"

"My black friends really enjoy hearing my lame jokes. It's almost like they've never been told dad jokes before..."

"Today I fucked up by posting in the wong subreddit... Also titled the post incorrectly and made a typo, like an ediot. Edit: idiot"

"If you take the D out of Devil what do you get? the D"

"Doctors just assume I want all my blood at a particular pressure."

"I hope my tombstone reads: Matrixed 9 out of 10 bullets."

"Why do ruler manufacturers make a big thing about them being shatterproof? Was there a ruler shattering epidemic that necessitated this?"

"What do you have in a room full of tweakers? A full set of teeth."

"Anton Chekhov brought his gun to work He was fired."

"How do you make a little girl cry twice. You rub your bloody dick on her teddy bear."