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Joke of the Day

"Found this in r/funny ""When I said to nuke the Chinese, I meant to put the takeout in the microwave!"""

"What do you call a midget fortune teller running from the police? A small medium at large."

"I'm a virgin by choice. Just not my choice."

"Why did France really surrender to Germany? *Hitler was being Vichy.* [Just thought of this earlier in the shower... Had gas ever since.]"

"I basically have three hairstyles. 1. Straight 2. Wavy 3. Homeless"

"the opposite of a charles manson is a nicole kidman"

"I saw a man at the beach going ""Help! Shark! Help!"" I laughed because I knew that the shark wasn't going to help him."

"Yesterday, I got food poisoning I don't know when I'll use it"

"Thank you for telling the definition of ""many"" to me. It means a lot."

"What sound does an octopus make? A squid word."