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Joke of the Day

"I basically have three hairstyles. 1. Straight 2. Wavy 3. Homeless"

"How do circumcision doctors get paid? In tips."

"I stole a toilet seat from a police station once. They never caught me, they had nothing to go on."

"Knock knock Who's there? Ana Ana who? Ana gonna tell you"

"I was going to smoke a joint with some Mexicans But when I asked if anyone had papers, they all ran off."

"Have I ever steered you wrong? *flashback to you at zoo in bear suit Me: They wont attack if ur dressed like one of them, now go get my ball"

"I'm agnostic. What happens when I die? Idk..."

"Don't you get it man? Every single person who has discovered the identity of who let the dogs out has been brutally murdered."

"In the old days you could send your kid to the store with a note to get your cigarettes. Now they need a mask and a knife."

"me *walks into house* wife: Where are the kids? me *turns around and goes back out*"