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Joke of the Day

"What does an Asian person say when asked, ""does the carpet match the drapes?"" I don't have a carpet; I have an Oriental rug."

"Since I'm wearing a white top, I'm going to go ahead and eat this meatball hoagie while I drive."

"If I was a doctor, every now and again I'd eat a giant burrito then give myself a sonogram."

"Two fish are in a tank One turns to the other and asks, ""Do you know how to drive this?"""

"Brake fluid I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime."

"What was so special about Bounty's new line of paper towels? nothing they were tearable."

"Edgy Knock knock joke Knock knock. Who's there? The pilot. Let me in"

"Mirror Mirror on the Wall... What is my focal point?"

"EU wants to congratulate US for their free healthcare.. .. because you did vote for Bernie didn't you?"

"Can't believe I was once a child who fought taking naps."