226348

Joke of the Day

"Mirror Mirror on the Wall... What is my focal point?"

"I feel so alive when I watch an object fall and shatter into hundreds of pieces. Not alive enough to clean up the mess though."

"How many Jersey girls does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. They'll screw anything"

"One day, a man ran through Red Square in Moscow, shouting at the top of his lungs, ""Khrushchev is a fool!"" He was subsequently arrested for revealing state secrets."

"What did Jaws call his solo banking firm? Loan shark."

"Last night I was questioned by a detective, and then afterwards we had sex EDIT: Seriously, gilded? I'm speechless"

"Mozart took a young wife, as was common in the day. After a very brief first night together, he felt inspired to write a song. He called it Minute in A Minor."

"What state did the programmer start her road trip in? Maine"

"What do you call a unicorn that's had its horn removed? A eunuchorn."

"My lucks so bad if I bought a cemetery people would stop dying."