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Joke of the Day

"just when my neighbors think they know me, I sprint across their yard pushing a wheelbarrow full of hair"

"I often misuse common phrases People are always pulling me off for it."

"FDR hates cripple humor He can't stand it"

"What did the psychiatrist say when a man wearing nothing but saran wrap walked in to the office? I can clearly see ""you're"" nuts...."

"Three stages of a man's life . . . . . Want to stand up Want to stand up Want to stand up"

"What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gang rape."

"I think Christmas is made for Mexicans only... ...why else would you wish Merry Christmas to every Juan!? *badumtss*"

"What was the difference between C# and VB About 6 months."

"Beating up band nerds with witty comebacks *Impales Flutist* ""Must be flute poisoning"" *Bludgeons French Horn Player* ""Am I making you horny?"" *Throws Tuba player off cliff* ""Tu...bad"""

"My grandmother, 86 years old, just entered medical school. She's a cadaver, and she is living death to the fullest."