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Joke of the Day

"What's the name of the yoga pose where you're hunched over your kitchen sink shoving handfuls of cereal into your mouth?"

"If I have a rooster and you have a donkey and your donkey eats my roosters feet, what do I get? Two feet of cock up your ass."

"Einstein used science to get laid; that guy is a genius... I've been using money."

"What do Elsa and a necrophiliac have in common? The cold never bothered them anyway......"

"Why do Chicken Coops have two doors? Because if they had four doors, they would be a chicken sedan. *slaps knee*"

"Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a bird? A: A gulp. It's like a swallow, only bigger."

"Umlaut is a pretty fancy word for what are basically just little letter nipples."

"doctor: here's your x-ray me: ew I look ugly in this one delete it take another"

"What time does Sean Connery get to Wimbledon? Ten-ish."

"One of the lights in my bathroom is out. I look at least ten years younger."