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Joke of the Day

"Mark Zuckerberg stole Facebook from my friend, Craig Facebook"

"Where do conspiracy theorists keep their ideas? In a skeptic tank. --- (Note: I just made up this joke earlier today. I'm not 100% sure the joke is obvious; feel free to suggest a better wording!)"

"When is a pepper annoying? When it's jalapeno face"

"*gets to hell* [In earshot of Satan] I HATE ICE CREAM AND WATCHING TV, DAMN THAT WOULD BE REAL TORTURE FOR ME. OH AND BEER, I ALSO HATE BEER"

"What do you call someone you want to be stepped on by? A crush crush"

"A guy goes to the bar. The bouncer asks if the guy is driving. The guy responds, ""No I'm standing""."

"One time, I wrote down so many double entendres... ...I had to rub one out."

"The difference between the Pope and your boss. The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring. "

"Whats the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits till you're 12 to come on your face"

"What got the apple into skydiving? Pear pressure."