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Joke of the Day

"The English team visited an orphanage in brazil. ""It's heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope"",said Jose age 6."

"This woman got so offended when I asked if I could pet her son, like I'm the one who put him on a leash."

"""Are you the ghost of Christmas past?"" - what I ask a person with a flip phone."

"Coworker: crazy weather we're having Me: [as loud as possible] SHARON FOR THE LAST TIME I WILL NOT KILL YOUR HUSBAND FOR A BAG OF REDVINES"

"What do you call blonde girls in a wrapper? Airheads"

"Why shouldn't you gamble in Africa? Too many cheetahs.."

"Waldo collapses on the beach because it's August & he's fully clothed with a ski cap. You spot him easily"

"*Pulls gun* Alright give me the money, and don't try anything stupid."" *Tries to put a fork in a light socket* ""Hey! What did I just say""!?"

"Wife: oh honey, I didn't marry for money, the guy I fell in love with had an easy smile, a sparkling laugh & big dreams. then I met you."

"Why did the parrot fall out of the tree? Because it was dead."