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Joke of the Day

"Follow your dreams. Unless you're a narcoleptic who wants to be a limo driver. That's dangerous, dude."

"why should you be afraid if you see a bull chasing after you? Well. I don't know about you guys, but I wouldn't want something that horny chasing me!"

"What did the golfer say to his buddy when he hit a bogey? ""I guess you aren't up to par"""

"What do you call an elf singer? Elvish Presley"

"Would you like to hear a joke about ghosts? That's the spirit!"

"What did the butcher say to the cow? ...I love you for your inner beauty."

"[camera cuts to me in crowd at NFL game holding a giant sign that says ""I CAN'T BELIEVE THE HOT DOGS ARE 8 DOLLARS""]"

"What do you call a radio host with a broken leg? Maggie *Limpton* ~~Most people probably won't get this, but eh.~~"

"Ninety two percent of cross-eyed teachers have difficulty controlling their pupils."

"A drunk is brought to court... The judge says ""you've been brought here for drinking"" to which the drunk replies ""when can we start!"""