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Joke of the Day

"[camera cuts to me in crowd at NFL game holding a giant sign that says ""I CAN'T BELIEVE THE HOT DOGS ARE 8 DOLLARS""]"

"What does a Muslim pirate say? Allahu Ackbarrrrr!"

"I dated a lizard once but he had a-reptile dysfunction so it didn't work out."

"""You have a BA? Ooooh! Look at you! Well, I have a BA, an MA, & a PhD."" - 3rd degree burn"

"I hate combing my hair... It reminds me of what I did to everyone else: Let them down."

"What is the capital of Greece? More than the capital of the UK."

"How is Daniel Craig a policeman? He is in Spectre (Inspector)"

"What's Harley Quinn's favourite rap group? Insane Clown Pussy."

"Wet wipes are tissues who like to party."

"It's ok to leave a client with split ends if you're a hairdresser. But not if you're a mohel!"